Thundertitties

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 17:12:25 GMT

i scratched myself in my armpit fold while i was adjusting my bra this morning. the other week i scratched lance by accident too. i don't know when my fingernails turned into razor talons but both of these incidents drew blood. maybe thats why he's too busy to speak to me.

1st world problems

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 13:17:37 GMT

TGIF!
Im tired. kira woke me up crazy early and i couldn't go back to sleep. If she wasn't so cute she'd prob get swatted off the bed.

my stupid <a href="http://www.aocd.org/skin/dermatologic_diseases/perioral_dermatiti.html">face rash</a> is back and i fucking hate it and feel weird and disfigured. and paranoid because i feel like people are looking at me life i'm dirty. i have a sulfur gel i but on it in the AM because that makes it much less red, but shockingly, it smells like sulfur.
its not nearly as bad as it was the first time i had it, when my dr couldn't identify it so it was treated wrong and got worse and worse until it actually cracked open and wept. once it was treated right it went away but its been baaaaaack a few times since then, and will probably be something that comes and goes throughout my whole life as long as i continue taking a higher dose steriod (read: forever unless some genius cures asthma). i had a derm appt for the middle of october, because they said they couldn't get me in before that. i decided to call back a few days later, tell them it got worse (not a lie!) and see if there was anything earlier and magically, there was a bunch of openings next week. still i do not look forward to the treatment which is a ridiculous 3-12 WEEKS of antibiotics, which translates into that many weeks of diarrhea because antibiotics screw up my stomach. and at least 2 awful crampy miserable periods because they also interfere with birth control pills. i should just be content being rashy bumpy and ugly.

lance took off work on tuesday, and he came into CC and we had lunch. it was uh, strange? i was dressed for work of course, even a little nicer than i usually am because i had just bought a new top. and he was sweaty slimy looking from riding his bike so far all morning, aside from his usual leather-y, faded feathered tattoed-ness, and his OOC hair thats stands straight up. it occurred to me we might look like an odd pair, like a young professional buying a squatter lunch. ok thats an extreme version. i don't particularly care, but sometimes i'm just hyper aware of people looking at me so i start to imagine what they thought.
anyway. he's super busy with work, cleaning/fixing up his new place, and his art, so its not like it was when he lived a block away and had nothing to do so we were together all the time. it's strangely like starting to date someone new all over again. which is strange yet ok because i get to have some of those awesome exciting "new person" moments again. distance makes the heart....

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 03:00:55 GMT

one of my favorite work time wasters. someday i'll earn enough for them to actually cutme a check, which i doubt i'll ever recieve!

<a href="http://www.inboxdollars.com/?r=janetkotz">
<img src="http://www.inboxdollars.com/graphics/creative/banners/120x60/banner_animated_120x60_05.gif" border="0" />
</a>

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 19:23:01 GMT

i admit and accept the fact that if lance and i were any other couple, i'd barf all over us 800 times.

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:07:41 GMT

i am dating a guy with neck tattoos.

there are 2 weird things about this.

1. i am dating someone.
2. he has neck tattoos.

edit:
3. he played guitar with marilyn manson
4. i might actually like him in spite of that fact.

second edit, for melissa:
5. he killed heath ledger.

Sat, 24 May 2008 15:53:20 GMT

Walter Benjamin wrote, "The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope."

fabolous

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 03:56:39 GMT

i hate this guys name spelling but i love some of the lines in "baby don't go"
actually i like the song itself but the thermos line cracks me up

[Intro: T-Pain (Fabolous) {J.D.}]
I try to play cool
Actin like what you do don't phase me, don't phase me
Meanwhile I'm sittin at home, all alone
Tryin to keep myself from goin crazy
When I'm in the house, when I think about
When I see you out, when I hear about {T-Pain}
I want my baby back! {'Lo-so} And I thought it would be easy
but it's hard for me to let you GO ~!
(Baby don't) GO! (Baby don't) go!
(Baby don't) go (baby don't) {y'all know what this is}

[Fabolous]
Now I'm better than your ex, gon' be better than your next
Baby Screwed Up so you better be from Tex-as
Can't seem to doubt that I creamed her out
Now you dream about how I turned Nieman out
Nothin to scream about just back your Beemer out
Pack it up in the trunk, go back to Kima house
Cause I can play cool, but I can't play fool
There's options in break up, you ever play pool?
Better do you cause I damn sure does me
And what your buzz be is only because of me
The wifey, hus-by, never was me
I does me, trust me
I don't wanna another you so I'ma slide (yup)
But I got another boo, on the side, bay-bay

[Chorus: T-Pain (Fabolous) {unlisted J.D. ad libs}]
I try to play cool
Actin like what you do don't phase me, don't phase me
Meanwhile I'm sittin at home, all alone
Tryin to keep myself from goin crazy
When I'm in the house, when I think about
When I see you out, when I hear about
I want my baby back! And I thought it would be easy
but it's hard for me to let you GO ~!
(Baby don't) GO! (Baby don't) go!
(Baby don't) go (baby don't)

[Fabolous]
Through the time I been alone, time I spent on phones
Know you ain't lettin them climb up in my throne
Now, baby that lime with that Patron
Have me talkin crazy, it's time to come on home
Now, I talk with someone above
It's okay to lose your pride over someone you love
Don't lose someone you love though over your pride
Stick wit'cha entree and get over your side
We break up to make up at Jacob's baby
Her parents fought too, I'm the makeup baby
Wake up baby, love'll have you open though
I mean you seen Tom Cruise on the Oprah show
So I just can't bet on the next hand
There's too much in this pot just to give to the next man

[Chorus]

[Fabolous]
Now if you ain't never went through it you ain't really into it
The next rap to show you I really been through it
Every other day I'm givin the love away
That's what your friend's sister or little brother say
If I'ma do somethin, it's the undercover way
When them hatin ass watchdogs look the other way

And others may not see that we need each other
But if we on the same page we can read each other
They should learn us, instead of try to turn us
Mr. and Ms. Smith, we both got the burners - UP ~!
If you love your baby then turn this up
Know we keep this hot like a Thermos cup
Relax, don't be tryin to perm us up
We already straight - yesss

[Chorus]

[Jermaine Dupri]
Fab we gon' have to make a dance to this song man!
Y'knahmean; ain't no WAY you can't dance on this
Uhhh, T-Pain!

[T-Pain]
I want my baby back! And I thought it would be easy
but it's hard for me to let you GO ~!

medical hole

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 22:05:20 GMT

i don't want to go to work ever anymore!
today i stayed home because the furnace man was coming. i didn't have to stay home, the landlord gave the guy a key. but i stayed home anyway. i guess because work is just so frustrating, half the time i have nothing to do, i'm not stimulated at all and i've started nodding off because of it. also its just a messed up place in general, some people do nothing even when there is plenty for them to do. then my favorite co worker ever sticks his nose in other peoples business and ends up screwing crap up badly and no one cares, theres no repercussion, someone just smooths it over like always and its maddening. i get really irritated by people protecting someone from a mistake they should be learning from. i wouldn't want someone to do that for me, i would want to know what i did so i could learn the right way. apparently that makes me some sort of weird crazy person!

ps. kira is snoring.

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 15:53:17 GMT

i have to remember to take a picture of the pumpkins when i get home since i'll just throw them out after trick or treat. they are all shrivelled anyway. then i have to set up the little ceramic haunted house in the window and turn the lights on, then go out for trick or treat!! i didn't get a whole lot of candy because i cant afford to but i got some, and i hope theres lots of fishtown babies out in freaking cute costumes. candy candy candy.
now, a poll

View Poll: #1080496

(edit: i voted for myself as stupid to see how this worked. it worked)

(Edit: i was that stupid for a hot second)

bonarform

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 07:46:59 GMT

someting really really weird is happening to me right now.
weirddddddddddddd its 3:45 am

this is important, to diana.

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 17:49:43 GMT

oliver told me last night that the bar he hangs at up the street was doing "name that tune". he totally knew i'd be into that. so i went over a little bit later and joined him and his friend.
i got there just in time for the lightning round that was QUEEN SONGS. you got a paper that had a bunch of different lyrics on it and you had to name the song.
you know who the only person to get them all right, and the first to hand it in was.

Fri, 25 May 2007 18:09:43 GMT

Close your eyes to corral a virtue,
Is this fooling anyone else?
Never worked so long and hard,
To cement a failure,

We can blow on our thumbs and posture,
But the lonely is such delicate things,
The wind from a wasp could blow them,
Into the sea,
With stones on their feet,
Lost to the light and the loving we need,

Still to come,
The worst part and you know it,
There is a numbness,
In your heart and it's growing,

With burnt sage and a forest of bygones,
I click my heels,
Get the devils in line,
A list of things I could lay the blame on,
Might give me a way out,

But with each turn,
It's this front and center,
Like a dart stuck square in your eye,
Every post you can hitch your faith on,
Is a pie in the sky,
Chock full of lies,
A tool we devise,
To make sinking stones fly,

And still to come,
The worst part and you know it,
There is a numbness,
In your heart and it's growing.

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 15:02:41 GMT

so i look like medusa now, i didn't get the worst perm ever but it was pretty much a failure like i expected. its tight towards the roots and already flat towards the ends, but at least there is a nice section in the middle that looks almost how i wanted it to. the good thing i guess is that its already going flat in less than a week so it probably won't last long. oh well. i'll have to remember next time i get this idea to look at this entry.

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 16:13:22 GMT

it was sunny yesterday so i took out the older polaroid to test it out. it works! the pictures come out looking like they are already 30 yrs old, its kind of awesome. i decided even though i haven't worked with the other one a lot that i already hate in comparison because it doesn't have the focusing ability this one does. i still don't have the flash gun working, but i'll keep trying, it doesn't seem to be that complex of a thing so theres got to be a way to get it to work damn it.
i want to walk around with this and feel like an old timey reporter

oh PS. last night i went up to my room to get some PJs, and found BOTH CATS resting on my bed. not together, but not at opposit ends either. i got so excited and tried to hug kiwi and she ran away, then the same thing with kira.

this is spinal tap

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 19:40:23 GMT

so i ahve been thinkinga bout getting a perm/body wave because i would love to have hair with a little bit of wave in it, like this

so i found this local lady that has been doing hair out of this tiny crappy store front for 15 years, but is actually pretty good, and ridiculously inexpensive. i went to talk to her, and she thinks its prob doable, but she wanted to cut my hair into the shape more first. and perm it in a week or so. she deep conditioned it, then trimmed it, and i was watching her while she was talking all fishtown loud about fishtown crap, and i was kind of scared but it actually came out nice, but i'm not used to it yet, i feel like its top heavy and i'm afraid i look like

which is kind of terrifying & hilarious at the same time but i guess it doesn't because no one has even noticed that its different at all. now i'm having second thoughts though about perming it because i might end up looking like a less funny member of spinal tap.

not whiny

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 16:12:37 GMT

i got my new (old) camera yesterday. it had to be signed for, so i ~~asked~~ bribed oliver to go to the post office for me since its open the exact hours i work. here is the description from ebay:

This Old Timer has served our Family well!

This is a personal family camera that has been kept in a loving family, smoke free home. It has taken pictures of family, relative, friends, schoolmates and military parades. It has been a world traveler and now needs a new good home, to care for a collector or another family.

This is a Polaroid Land Camera Automatic 100 with Cold Clip. It has a nice black leather case. The camera is in very good, clean ready to use or show condition. It has a unique Self Timer attachment.

<img src="http://www.rwhirled.com/landlist/pics/campics/100.jpg">

here's a picture of one. i will have to take picture of the one i got, because its ridic. it's a model from the mid 60s, and obviously owned by a meticulous little man (named Eugene), because it is in near perfect condition, except for the fact that there was a battery in the flash with a piece of masking tape on it with the date 3-30-1974. which obviously leaked, so once i clean that up i'll have to find a new battery and try it out. if it doesn't work, i saw several flashes on ebay. also tons of the one use bulbs (fun) Also in the case was an unopened pack of film that is no longer made that expired in 1974. and a self-timer that looks like a part of a fucking bomb, still in its original package.

bribed is one of those weird words that doesn't seem like an actual word. say it 10 times.

so i now have 3 polaroid cameras. and i only really want 2.

ill finish this later

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 17:23:59 GMT

i'm bored. i wish i actually had work to do at work. at home i have 8374534 things that need to be done, why can't that pay?
wi-fi recently became available in my area, so i figured "hey this is way easier/cheaper than getting a line for dsl, or cable, so why not try it." yesterday all the stuff comes and guess what? it doesn't work! no signal at all on either of our computers, on either floor. shocking. immediately i was ready to throw it out the window. i guess today when i get home i'll call tech support just to double check, but i'm already sure i'll be sending the crap back and cancelling. (luckily they give you 30 days, or else i'd be PISSED) so frustrating. i guess i'll never have internet at that house unless i pay for it all entirely myself. i lived this long w/o it, so whatever, if i do decide to pay for it myself, no one else is using it. maybe i'll get lucky and some other moran will not secure their network and i can "borrow" again.
i ordered tiffin for dinner friday. i used to not really like indian food except for once in a while. now i want it all the time, even though everytime i eat it, i'm "eh" bout it. fooooood. now i'm going to go to the verizon store and get myself a phone charger that actually works. byes.

it makes me crazy when

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 15:49:45 GMT

when people do things that seem to be acts of guilt, but you don't know what they are guilty of.

i'm only posting this because diana did

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 14:49:52 GMT

mmmmmmmm

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 19:37:25 GMT

today is supposed to be the last nice day before winter weather finally comes on in. so oliver and i ate lunch outside at gianna jr's. when i was walking back to work, there was a pretty gray cat in the doorway of one little shop. he didn't dare cross the threshold onto the sidewalk, but he stretched out his head for me to pet him. i liked it.

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 15:35:28 GMT

i try not to be paranoid aand suspicious, but i have a bad feeling. i know thats stupid to say, but i do. i have a feeling that all the pieces of my life that are up in the air right now are about to fall down in a mess and i don't know how to stop that from happening. i have a feeling i am going to be broken and alone, and i'm not sure yet how i will get passed that. i feel sick all over.

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 15:32:40 GMT

today i put on a new sweater and even a little make up, which i always start wearing again when i feel like i need to lift myself up a bit. (theres a lot to be said about that habit, the psychology behind it, blah blah but i don't feel like it.) i wore the utensil handle ring(like this) my mom gave me in high school. it holds no real value, but today i needed something tangible to remind me of my family, of the people who care for me. i'm trying to hold it all together, and it should be relatively easy. but for some reason i don't feel like i'm doing a very good job.

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 18:46:43 GMT

2 cats = 2 burritos

giant run on sentence

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 15:55:18 GMT

growing up, my mom taught us that if you said you were sorry for something you did, it also meant that you would not do it again. if you did it again, you weren't truly sorry the first time.
for example, if you mislead someone, lied to them, and later regret that you hurt them, apologized and expressed that you were truly sorry for being disrespectful, then you would not act the same way again. but if you repeated the same behavior you originally were so sorry for, then you really weren't sorry in the first place. why should anyone believe that you are sorry a second time? this is one of my biggest pet peeves. things just don't work that way.

not really controversial controversial opinion

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 14:57:20 GMT

having an expensive camera doesn't make you a photographer

shit like this is not art